More or Less

So, is it better to feel more or feel less? I've been thinking recently, about being in constant pain, and trying to look on the upside of things. I realized that being in pain has made me more aware (somewhat unfortunately) of my body (and thus my pain), but somewhat fortunately, it has made me aware of things and life around me. For instance, I find that I appreciate things more, things I never would have noticed before.

Do any of you realize how much of your body it takes to drive a car? It's not just your feet and hands. It basically takes your entire body. I could tell you (depending on where/how much I hurt), exactly which muslces/bones/tendons you use in certain parts of your body while driving.

For some reason, small natural things seem so much more real. I don't know, like a pretty sunset, or wild grass blowing in the wind, or even the feel of the wind on my skin. I never would have noticed these as much before. And a funny thing, even though storms make me hurt a lot more, I still love a good rainy day. There's just something nice about a rainy day.

Anyway, point of this post, I think it's better to feel more. I feel I can appreciate more. Yes, the downside is I feel more negatives as well, but I think the positives outweigh. Besides, how boring would it be to not feel anything about anything? No pleasure, no pain, no like, no dislike, no appreciation. Seems sad. Of course, ask me tomorrow and I'll be bitching about it all :)

Goosh