heartache

How is it that heartache is a physical thing? Whoever named it "heart ACHE" was correct. But it's not the physical heart that hurts. This was different than the stabbing pains I get in my chest from my ribs & those muscles being pissed off. It's a nameless something. I laid in bed for about 2 hours last night (well, this morning), trying to sleep, and just mentally "poking" and physically feeling what I felt. The center of my chest hurt, under my sternum, between my breasts. centered, not to the left like the physical heart. But what else is below your sternum? lungs? bronchi? esophagus? Those aren't involved with sadness/depression/hurt.

Why do those emotions create that physical pain. Are there chemical changes in the brain? Does my brain tell the nameless sphere beneath my sternum to hurt? Does it say "oh, you're really sad...note to self, make chest hurt" Or is it this "sphere" that tells my brain it is in pain? And why sometimes that "sphere" hurts, like it is being crushed, or a fist is squeezing, or tearing itself apart. But what about the flip side, the painful nothingness? It reminds me of The Neverending Story. It's not that the "sphere" doesn't hurt, that that absence of pain is just as bad as the painful pain. It's that the "sphere" isn't even there. There's nothing! As the big rock monster says in the movie "a hole would be something...no, there was nothing!" But how can nothing be painful?

sphere is crushed = pain. sphere not there = pain. sphere is there = no feeling, not applicable. Does this make any sense? Not to me. The mind...the body...(the soul?) all strange things. Sometimes I wish we were amoebas, it would make like so much simpler. we could just gloop around and goosh. gooshing is fun. oatmeal gooshes. actually I think oatmeal boofs. cats boof.

~Isabo wants to goosh and boof.