re: Bigbikkuri pop quiz

Like before, I was gonna comment to a comment, but my reply was too long anyway, so I'm putting it here as a new post:

bigbikkuri said...
quiz question: if you are currently experiencing a bout of Fibro pain, but at the same time induce an orgasm - what do you feel?

***warning: this is both an informative and bitching post...informative about my pathetic lack of sex life, and bitching about my pathetic lack of sex life! mwuahahahaha*** le sigh

so, my reply:
whenever I'm in a "flare" I usually either:

1. am not interested in sex/orgasms (pain decreases sex drive...and the depression doesn't help too much either...and antidepressants don't help--which seems odd, doesn't it?)

2. couldn't stand the physical activities needed to reach orgasm (yes, this includes simple finger movements). Too painful to move, too painful to be touched, too painful, period, so I can't answer you.


Otherwise, if I'm not in a flare, and just in "normal" pain rather than excruciating, then orgasms feels like normal...I've never had one when I wasn't in pain, so I couldn't answer as to how that would be different from other situations. I've never had one when I wasn't on anti-depressants. I could compare notes with "normal" girls and see what they say. I do know that some friends have had mind-blowing orgasms, blacked out, loved it, it was heaven, etc, where as mine have always been just sorta iffy, and "yea, that was ok" or "that was it??" *le sigh*

I can also tell you it's a pain in the ass to reach orgasm for multiple reasons:
1. antidepressants sorta block that, I could have sex for 10 hours straight and never reach orgasm. They can either block your sex drive, so you don't care about sex, or they apparently can also block your ability to orgasm. (so you're still horny as hell, just can't get off *points to self*)
2. (since I'm single) I'm physically incapable of getting myself there. Either don't have the strength, stamina or too painful (this can be pain in general, pain in arms/hands/hips/etc or vagina as well). So it usually becomes a choice between
A) do I want to go to the trouble, pain, and fatigue to reach a brief bit of iffy "ok" pleasure and
B) do I mind having to pay for it later (ie being sore/fatigued/physically useless the next hours/days/week).
3. (if I wasn't single) all of the above would still apply. Though it's even more painful/fatiguing for the fact that I feel obligated to participate (and will probably push myself past my phsyical limit). Plus the fact that someone else is doing things to my body, and they can't know what hurts and doesn't. And then again there's the choice of do I tell them it hurts/ask them to stop/(piss them off?)/(hurt their feelings?)/etc or deal with it and let them orgasm while I lie there like a dead fish...sorta like Romy & Michelle's High School Reuion: "I'm coming! Ok, get off me now." lol...except it's more like "ok, you came, get off me now"
4. pain dampens sexual drive, so don't even care to go to trouble...or are too doped up on pain meds to be of any use to yourself.


So, all in all I have no sex life, and I have a miniscule masturbation life. Like every other activity in my life, I have to decide whether or not the results of the activity (orgasm/endorphines/pleasure/whatever) are worth the consequences of increased pain and fatigue. And yes, I am always horny as hell. I'm hornier than a goat on E. And often can't do anything about it. Sometimes I'll read online stuff (pictures don't do much for me). That usually just worsens the situation b/c then I'm hot and bothered and stuck in that situation until I CAN do something about it, but it is never satisfying, and sometimes not even worth the effort. What really pisses me off is when I'm uber horny, and actually go to the trouble of trying to orgasm, and never making it. Then I'm uber horny, pissed off, worn out and sore and feel...not dejected...not depressed. damnit, I can't think of the word. frustrated? fill in the blank with an emotion you'd feel if you were horny and couldn't get off no matter how hard you tried.

Yea, so, hope that answers your questions. Probably way too much information, lol, sorry, I was on a roll. I never realized how pathetic my lack of sex life was. Doesn't that make you all feel better about yourselves? :) lol. I suppose I should be happy that I at least still have my sex organs, unlike that African tribe where they cut them off at puberty *shudders* that would hurt. But then again they're not much use to me right now. but at least I have a choice *le sigh*

~frustrated & horny as usual